Wednesday, October 25, 2017

week 21 - gender reveal #pregnancyDiary


This week started off with my appointment at the gyno for a checkup. It had been five weeks since my last one! My mother in law came with me and it worked out well, she kept me company and loved getting to see her first grandchild. Everything went great. The doctor took various measurements and didn't see any issues. I had thought the scan would be even longer though. I'd been told the 20 week one takes ages but mine only lasted around 15 minutes (my friend told me hers had gone on for an hour!). I had kind of been hoping to see the face more but you can't really make out anything. The doctor said we could pay extra for a 3d scan at a different clinic after 24 weeks so we'd consider getting that done. However I spoke to another friend who told me the 3d scan isn't that great, it can be hard to get a good image if the baby is facing the placenta.

The great news is that the doctor was able to tell me the gender this time! My gut feeling was right, it is most likely a GIRL!! I'm thrilled. That's not to say I wouldn't have been equally delighted to be having a son, I just have had this feeling it was going to be a girl since I got pregnant and it's really nice having it confirmed. After our appointment I went into the shops with the aim of buying something for the baby to surprise my husband with. When I was in the shop, it suddenly occurred to me that this was the first time I was buying something for OUR child. There have been so many times in the past where I've gone to the baby section to buy presents for friends' kids and quite often ended up getting emotional thinking it might never happen for us. It took me ages to pick out something as it felt like such a significant moment!

I had been planning to get something pink but I didn't particularly like the things they had. However I found a cute peach and white stripped babygrow for a newborn and I picked some little white socks as well. Later at home I wrapped the items in pink ribbon and put them in a present. I wrote "Daddy / Papa" on the front. It felt like it took ages for my husband to get home from work that day. Both his Mum and I were really excited to find out his reaction. As soon as he arrived I called him into the sitting room and gave him the present. His Mum was ready with the camera. As he was opening it I started crying! I hadn't meant to, I just got overcome by the moment. He was really happy and we hugged. He got a little emotional too! Probably from seeing me tearing up. It was such a special moment. His Mum got some nice pictures too. Google turned them into a little Gif video and it is really cute. I skyped my family after and told them the news and they were all delighted for us too. And then I messaged some close friends. It was such a happy day!


This morning hubby and I discussed some names. We currently have two favourites. Both have Irish origins but we would use the international spelling. We also went into the future baby's room and discussed how we would organize it. I showed him the "Wish" book I bought and started crying once I read it. It is a story about a much wanted baby and the parents' journey to get there. I can still remember the heartbreak we went through before now and I'm so grateful and amazed to be 21 weeks pregnant right now with a healthy baby. We also looked at the children's books he had bought from his trip. It was such a nice time thinking about the future. I couldn't be happier!

My mother in law commented that four months seems ages away and she can't wait. I can wait though. It's not that I'm not really excited to meet our baby, which I am, but I am also enjoying this time. Having my child growing inside me is special and it's nice to have these months to think about the future and plan. I've been reading books on childbirth and life with a newborn. In another month I'll be starting the third trimester already which seems mad!


A friend from my book club very kindly dropped off her old maternity outfits to me plus a heap of baby clothes her kids have grown out of! Newborn stuff are so tiny, like outfits for a doll. So cute! I hope I'm not jinxing things by already getting stuff for the baby. I still have four months to go after all. But other girls on my due in Feb facebook group already started buying things weeks ago. PEople aren't as superstitious as they used to be in the old days.

And the other news this week was that I met my Hebamme (Someone in Germany who visits you and the new baby) finally! She's nice, made a good impression. However, very alternative! I think most of them are like that. For instance, I mentioned getting the flue vaccine and she said that she would never get the flu vaccine as it's putting toxins/poisons into your body. She also didn't like how many ultrasounds I've had already as she said they heat the placenta and babies don't like them as they are so loud. I have heard those theories before but I don't think it's so bad every few weeks. They offer some classes at the centre she works at such as pregnancy gymnastics. Not sure what's involved there but I might try it out sometime. The other class they have is a mediation/relaxation one which sounds nice.

The Hebamme also asked if I'm anxious when she heard that this is an IVF pregnancy. I said I have been but it's gotten a lot better. I think I've been managing the anxiety quite well in general. She basically said I have to stop myself from worrying as it's not good for the baby. I didn't like that advice as now I'll just worry that my worrying is harmful for the baby! I would have preferred if she had told me everything will be fine. I do think the baby has some awareness of the mother's feelings as your heartbeat would be slower when relaxed and stress releases the hormone cortisone whereas the happiness hormone is oxytocin. However I found some of her theories a little too far fetched for me. At the meditation class they offer for instance, you basically talk to the baby and teach them how to be born according to her! I can't believe that the baby can hear my thoughts. However I'll still go to that class and try it out. Might be a way to make some new friends.

Overall it's been a good week. I'm still just incredibly delighted that I'm carrying our child. This week hubby even got to feel a few kicks too! I notice the baby randomly but often in the evenings. Like really active for a few minutes then quiet again. It's always a nice reassurance when I feel her moving about.

15 comments:

  1. So exciting! I can imagine finally buying something for your own child is such a milestone!

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    1. Yeah there was something surreal about it when you've longed for that moment for so long! Very exciting :)

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  2. A girl! Aaaahh!!! This is so exciting!

    Wow, Hebamme. I can't believe she said all that. Aren't they supposed to be reassuring? I think I would rather know my baby was okay in there than risk the slight chance that he/she might not like the ultrasound!

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    1. Aw, yeah really excited to meet our little lady!

      I know, exactly. It's good to have ultrasounds to check everything is ok now and then! It's seems to be nearly impossible to find the "perfect" Hebamme so I'm sticking with this one even though we have some differences of opinion already!

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  3. Wow girl.......such a nice feeling isn't it...

    take care

    Sphra
    https://myjourneytowardsfertility.wordpress.com/

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    1. yes it's really special! Thanks so much for your support

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  4. Hey! Great update! So pleased you are at the enjoyable bit of pregnancy. And sounds like a great mother in law. The hebamme does sound a little odd, but remember, just like with infertility, lots of people want to give you their 'advice' and they are not world experts (hebamme are doulas yes?). Remember, just like with useless infertility advice, ignore it and don't get wound up by it as they know nothing about you and your experience. I think what we have been through makes us better able to manage our anxiety than 'normal' pregnant people, and we are much better at focusing on behind positive and thankful to be pregnant. And the ultrasound thing is rubbish. I get an ultrasound at every check up here in Italy (it is normal here) and they have one of the lowest infant mortality rates and longest life expectancies in the world. XXX

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    1. Yeah Hebammes are sort of like doublas, that's probably the best way to describe them. This one who will be supporting us after the baby is here won't be there for the actual birth though. I think you get whichever one is at the hospital that day. Yeah, I've already noticed lots of people giving advice about different things. I think just trusting your instincts can help! That's so true about how after dealing with infertility we have learned to manage the anxiety and focus on how grateful we are to be pregnant with everything going well! I'm not going to worry about the ultrasound comment. That's great that Italy has such low infant mortality rates! xx

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  5. Congratulations on a little girl. They are tons of fun. 😀 Not sure what to make of your hebamme’s advice but you seem to be taking it in stride. As others have noted, lots of people like to give advice and one just has to learn to smile and let it go. In fairness, our doula is pretty alternative too, but she respects boundaries and is committed to providing the kind of support we want, so it’s ok. I’m not paying her to agree with my politics, but for her skills. I hope it works out for you, just don’t let anyone make you feel guilty or anxious about your decisions, because you don’t need that drama.

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    1. Thank you! Yeah I think I'll take the Hebamme's advice with a pinch of salt. She said a few other weird things too. But two friends recommended her and said she was a great support with their newborns.

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  6. Hi! I am Nerissa, a Filipino living in Italy.
    We just started a website dedicated to the lives of all those living in a country other than the one where they were born. Thru PeopleAbroad.org we intend to increase connections, awareness, and understanding among people.
    We would like to ask you to contribute to the website by writing one post with photos and/or videos about any region of the world. Your post will be linked to your personal websites, blogs, Facebook pages, Twitter account, and/or anything else you like, in order to promote your own activity.
    We could also publish some of your posts as a summary and link them to your website where your articles could be read in full length. If possible, we would also like you to write your story (bio - where you live and how you decided to live your life abroad) – example: https://www.peopleabroad.org/nerissa-filipino-living-in-italy/.
    To contribute, it is not necessary to live in a different country from where you were born, but simply to know a bit of the world by having lived, studied, or traveled.
    This website is still under construction, we do not have yet made it available to search engines for indexation. We are just starting and that is why your help is essential.
    All the best,
    Nerissa

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  7. This makes me so happy! You're right--meeting baby is amazing, but for now you are right to enjoy being pregnant!

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    1. Aw thank you! Yeah I can imagine it must be such a special moment to meet your baby for the first time!

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  8. Congratulations on having a daughter on the way. I think I said in an earlier post that I had a strong feeling that it was a girl. Don't know why (we've never even met), but I just felt it was a she.

    My grandma so badly wanted a daughter, but she only had sons. She told me once because a daughter would have been nice so she had someone to confide with. Her boys were sweet, but she always wished for a daughter.

    I'm glad to hear that baby is kicking the crap out of you... I mean... wait that came out wrong ;)

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    1. it's so funny, so many people have told us they had a feeling we'd have a girl! I've heard that daughters are easier as kids but hard as teenagers!
      Haha, thanks ;)

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